dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
