sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
