The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
