There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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