is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
