so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
