I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize