If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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