I heard we made out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
