I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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