that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's shark week go big or go home
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I just sharted jello shots
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
