I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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