Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think my moral compass just broke
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
