Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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