She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
