Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
