i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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