Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
