Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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