Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
where does the pee come out of this thing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
