Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
