Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
