so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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