Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
