I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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