Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
3 2 1 whiskey
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
