just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
