yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
