shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize