what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize