Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
