Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
