dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Too much gin, very little bucket
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
