I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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