You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
