My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
