I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
