guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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