You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
