Your dad touched me again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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