I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize