I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
