How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The uberlube is also flammable
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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