Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
