As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
