I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize