About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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