wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
