go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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