he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
