I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize