Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
