I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
