im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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