you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
