can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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