Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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