is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
