I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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