GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
