worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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