just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
