Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
